Bang Bang Terrorist!

For well over 15 years, we have confused the on and off terror attacks within Pakistan for some sort of alien conspiracy arising from the tombstones of some ancient Mayan civilization.

Fog is ever thicker now. In the blur of various commentaries about our local security vows, we jump to conclusion with lightening speed.

This can be religious extremism.

Maybe anti nationalism.

Can be radical terrorism.

Maybe cultural fanaticism.

Or perhaps plain inhumane barbarism.

Who knows?

Who cares?

This week was busy in terms of It’s high time to kill some Rats here and there. In Pakistan sadly there are all sort of 'em everywhere.

There is a terrorist hidden in the compound… Let’s raid it and kill him and anyone he is accompanying.

Done!

Shabaash Jawaan!

There is a killer travelling in the rickshaw… Let’s pin him!

Look there is a terrorist on roof… Drop a bomb.

And on and on and on…

Headlines of curbing the turf from these menaces is pretty decorative on all newspaper. We had eliminated 50 by the afternoon, 80 by the evening and now reports are stating; well above 100 terrorists are dead across Pakistan as our forces woke up from their slumber and thought of Installing some eternal peace within these mad killing machines.

Kabooom!

Hard-on Time!

And then on the evening news, there it is, my evening erection spoiler….
The already under arrested facilitator behind the Lahore Bomb Blast, has spoken and his confessional video is making rounds over the internet as well.

The inquiry is on-going. Combing operations all across Pakistan are bringing the bad guys down. Hunt is on, and it will continue till last one of the rat is ****ed.

And in the midst of all this, who would release this confessional video?

Wouldn’t this hurt the ongoing operations? Alert the terrorists? We have handed over a list of 76 Most wanted men to Afghanistan today, this confessional video going public, will it help or jeopardized it all?

One Gunpowder smelling, keyboard pundit said, listen man…

“We released this rat’s video so that world would know that Afghanistan is behind all this.

Oh yeah Baby let’s bring the truth out”

Awesome.

But wait a minute

Like Kulbhushan’s confessional video hurt Indians so bad, world has put them on warning.

Or Dr. Asim Hussein’s confessional video has sent PPP back into Stone Age.

I wish for a day when our justice system, crime probing authorities, or counter terrorism shitforce would be as efficient as the gun totting saviors of my homeland.

For now,

Nothing less than a continuous aerial bombardment outside our borders, deep within Afghanistan, will give me my testosterone boost back.

JF-17 Thunder or Blunder?

Any news containing information of our defense build-up naturally excites not only all my country-men but personally gives me a hard on. An erection over our successful missile tests, or a testosterone boost over a military exercise; is my normal reaction. I have still not recovered from my hangover about the recent announcement of an international Joint Naval exercise in our southern coast. After all we are a military minded country. According to a Gallup survey in 2015, 89% people in Pakistan said they are willing to fight for their country if the need be. We have fought many wars with India and I am sure we will fight again if only Indian movies were not downgrading our zeal and transforming our youth into pacifists dancers.

Now please stay with me as I reflect upon a news from another corner of South Asia.

Not a week has passed since United Nations presented a Report containing gruesome details of killings of Rohingya Muslims in Myanmar. The UN Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights report cited supporting evidence including bullet and knife wounds sustained by refugees and satellite imagery showing destruction of villages.

For past 3 years Rohingya Muslims have suffered brutality in the hands of extremist Buddhist and military has cut off access to north-western Rakhine which virtually makes it impossible for the rest of the world to verify the true scale of atrocities.

Since October 2016, more than 70,000 Rohingya have fled the country, mostly to Bangladesh, for past 3 years, people are continuously pouring out to Indonesia, Malaysia, where ever they can find safety. Bangladesh denies Rohingya Muslims entry in their territory to find safety. I respect whatever their country and its leaders decide, but coming from my Pakistani background, where we not only let 3 million Afghani victim of wars in, but are still caring for them since, it’s hard to find the Bangladeshi stance sink in well with me.

Late in the bed last night, almost zoning out watching my cellphone for last peek at the news, I read Pakistan Jf-17 Thunder Myanmar, something something.
I thought to myself, Wholla Amigo! Another Erection.

We must be bombing the sense out of these bastards for mistreating my brothers.

But No!

We are not only selling 16 of our Fighter Jets to Myanmar, but we are also in the initial phase of signing a deal licensing them to build it themselves!

So much for my defense related orgasm, for now!